Aren’t toddlers fun? One minute they’re giving you snuggles and sweet kisses and the next minute they’re on the ground kicking and screaming because you didn’t peel their banana the right way. Sound familiar? As frustrating and emotionally draining as your child’s tantrum can be, I want you to know that tantrums are a normal part of your child’s development. With that being said, you’re probably wondering what you can do during this developmentally appropriate time to make it more bearable. You’re in luck! I have some ways that you can actually prevent your child’s tantrums from happening in the first place. Yes, you read that correctly! There are some tools you can use to proactively eliminate some of these tantrums. Here are 3 tips and tricks you can start trying today.

1. Make sure their basic needs are met.

When you see your child revving up for a tantrum, this is the first thing to check. It’s also the easiest to fix.

• Are they hungry?
• Are they tired?
• Are they thirsty?
• Are they hot?
• Are they getting sick?

These are usually quick fixes. Are they hungry? Give them a snack or schedule mealtimes while you’re out. Did they get enough sleep? Push their bedtime earlier or implement a consistent bedtime routine (more on that here.) Are they thirsty? Get them a sip of water. Are they hot? Take off a layer. Are they sick? Let them rest.

2. Provide a consistent routine.

You can’t control your child, but you can control their environment. Set them up for success, with a consistent routine. Kids thrive in a predictable environment where they know what is coming next. You can provide this for your child by creating a consistent flow to your daily routine. This does not need to be a rigid schedule tied to time. Instead, think of it as chunking your day in a predictable way. For example, when your child wakes up, they eat breakfast, take a bath, get dressed, and then leave for daycare. 

If your child needs extra support with this or is having a hard time figuring out the flow of their day, consider making a routine chart. This doesn’t have to be fancy, just draw quick sketches that represent each chunk of your day. This visual representation might be just what they need!

3. Proactively fill their attention bucket. 

Kids need attention and connection from their parents. In fact, they need the attention so badly that they are willing to take any attention, positive or negative. Have you ever noticed how quickly you will drop everything to tell your child to stop doing something? Maybe they hit a sibling or did something dangerous like stand on a chair. When you stop what you’re doing to give your child your full attention, even if it’s negative, they are aware of how quickly you noticed them. Rather than waiting for this negative spiral, get ahead of it by giving your child positive attention proactively. Fill their attention bucket with positive attention. This may be spending one-on-one time with them, letting them help you with chores around the house, or noticing ways that they are working hard. When their attention bucket is full, they will be less likely to act out for your negative attention and the tantrums will become less frequent.

There you have it! Start using these 3 simple steps today to prevent those pesky tantrums from even starting. Don’t forget that tantrums are a normal part of toddler development and some will still happen. If you’re wondering what to do during the heat of those tantrums, check out my freebie: 5 Magic Moves to Manage a Meltdown!